Last week I somehow got my friend’s 5years old son (little Kelvin) suspended from school for wearing an inappropriate Halloween costume. So I started the week off reluctantly having to call and apologize to the principal of his elementary school to rescind on the suspension. The cheeky principal guy was not satisfied with my phone apology and requested that I send in a formal letter of apology. “What an egotistical bastard” I thought to myself.

Then it dawn on me that I had always had issues with schools and authority figures. I mean my last school experience before the Halloween incidence several weeks back and it was also a negative one.  In fact, I recalled several incidences in my school days where I got into all sorts of trouble with the school authorities. My parents had to always apologize and plead my case so that I did not get expelled from school.  So it figures why even today, I hate working a 9 to 5  job as I feel constrained and restricted like I felt all those years in school.

I decided to address this issue once and for all by taking my girlfriend’s suggestion to talk to a therapist. I met with Dr. Francesca and she started off by asking me some very basic question about myself. After that she then proceeded to ask me some open ended aggravating questions.

When I would ask her for what she thought about my issue, she would  dodge my question. Instead of answering my question she would simply ask me another question. Such as, “So how does it make you feel when you see authority figures?” “Do you feel the need to act insolent when in front of an authority person?” “ How do you think it has affected your ability to get a regular job?”

After a while I got tired of this type of questions as she was not providing me with any solutions but instead just having me talk endlessly to run down the clock. In fact, I saw her from the corner of my eyes a couple of times look at her time and then sneakily yarn when she thought I was not looking. In all, I left the session without a clear solution or action plan of what exactly to do but felt a little better that I got to talk it all out.  I guess that is what therapists are paid to do….that is “listen to you whine and then send you off with a fat bill.”

The next day I decided to accept a 2 months contract 3d modeling job. I figured it will be an opportunity for me to address my fears and issues with authority figures… like my new boss.  On my first day I was assigned a nice cubicle by the window and was quite surprised that none of the other employees had grabbed such a cool location.

The guy in the next cubicle was a guy named Robert who had been with the company eight years. He was grossly overweight probably weighed about 300 lbs and always seemed to be ruffling through potato chips snack.  He grunted loudly quite a bit throughout the day and sometimes seemed to let out small outburst of nonsensical expressions like “Yeah me men!” “Got your boyz?” “ In the bag…”

So many times throughout the day, I was startled by his incessant outburst and then I realized that this was why none of the other employees wanted my new spacious cubicle by the window.  Then I swear he must have farted about seven times that afternoon alone as from time to time a nasty smell would hit my nose and I would have to hold my breath until it passed.

After lunch, I went to wash my hands in the restroom and there again was Robert brushing his teeth aggressively by the sink. Without me saying anything to him he mentioned that he was following his dentist suggestions to brush his teeth after every meal.  I wondered how may times he had to brush his teeth each day as he always seemed to be eating something. In fact, he had been practically eating none stop all morning.

As I stepped out of the restroom, I saw down the hallway the dreaded Madame Cunegonde talking to the CEO of my new company!  She had fired me a few months back and had me thrown out of a cocktail party a few weeks back. She was the last person I wanted to run into on the first day of my new job. So I quickly docked back into the restroom. By this time Robert was now flossing his teeth and said to me smiling “leaky bladder issues Jon?”  It was then I noticed that this man had a missing front teeth and was actually wearing a fake tooth.  As I got back to my desk, I realized I was stuck with a strange cubicle mate and wondered…which one did I hate more… authority figures or strange work mates.

About Me: My name is Jon Max. I am a 3D Model Artist.  I have decided to document my life. One week at a time and share it with you. It is reality TV but on a blog. You will get the truth, no sugar coating of events instead raw and unedited. It’s my life baby!